Quicker, Pussycat! Chill! Chill! : Quick Chills: The Year's Best Horror Stories from the Small Press, Volume 1 (ed. Peter Enfantino)

 

Here's a surprise! I never expected to come across Quick Chills: The Year's Best Horror Stories From the Small Press Volume I in the wild. I'd tried, trust me--I had a fun time delving into the 80s/90s small-press horror era a month or two ago--but even though I was willing to pay silly amounts of money, I just couldn't track it down. However, I recently had the chance to help with the liquidation of a  long-time horror writer and collector's library, and I found it! 

Because this is an impossible one to find, I've added notes after each story about where you else you might discover them. Fair warning: In most cases, the other appearances are nearly as scarce as this one. Let's go!

While She Was Out by Edward Bryant

Synopsis: A suburban woman's trip to the mall becomes a bloody struggle against four teen thugs.

Thoughts: How times change. I first read this story in Splatterpunks: Extreme Horror several years ago, and it didn't click with me. It wasn't bad, it just didn't seem very fresh or extreme--just Final Girl boilerplate, although well-written. 

I was wrong--it's great, a lean and mean example of thriller writing. 

Something that's fun about this is how Bryant has his cake and eats it too: On the one hand, this is a mildly reactionary story, as all Death Wish style tales are. This is a society where decent women can't go shopping without running into a street gang, and where mall cops have guns but aren't allowed to carry bullets for "liability reasons." 

On the other, the feminist currents in this story go beyond the simple role-reversal and exploitation of Savage Streets or Ms. 45. Our heroine comes out of her ordeal against the anti-social forces of chaos not just to reaffirm the status quo, but to change her little piece of it into something more fulfilling. I think that was my problem the first time I read this--I thought the 'twist' on the formula was 'woman fights back,' which by 1988 was not the novelty it might have once been. No, the twist isn't the fighting, but what comes afterwards. 

Where to Find It: You've got a bunch of options, here. It was originally published in the Fall 1988 issue of Pulphouse: The Hardback Magazine, and subsequently wound up in The Best of Pulphouse: The Hardback Magazine (ed. Kristine Kathryn Rusch, 1991). As I mentioned above, it showed up in Paul Sammon's Splatterpunks: Extreme Horror in 1990, and a couple others. Ed Gorman put in in his 1991 anthology Dark Crimes, and Melissa Mia Hall in her 1997 Wild Women. There's others, I'm sure.

And. . .you could watch the movie with Kim Basinger!   

The Down Room by Jeff Radt

Synopsis: The town of Wyrmwood is plagued by a horde of murderous dogs. 

Thoughts: I'm sorry, this isn't very good at all. I'm always down for an animal attack saga, but the best part of that, the mauling, doesn't show up on the page at all. And, while I'm on record as being against destroying animals just because they killed a human (see my discussion of Mira Grant's "You Can Stay All Day"), I'm perplexed why the cops didn't just mow these doggies down rather than dump them over the fence of the animal shelter and hope for the best. 

Also, sorry, but if you're doing a haunted town, it should sound like one people would live in. Castle Rock? Sure! Cedar Hill! Yup! Oxrun? Why not? Greystone Bay? Maybe a little creepy, but that's not too bad. Silent Hill? Widow's Bay? Now you're starting to push it a bit. Wyrmwood? No, buddy, no. 

Where to Find It: The Scream Factory #3, although you're not missing much if you can't track this one down. 

Skin by Bentley Little

Synopsis: A family on a road trip discovers cabins made of skin and bone.

Thoughts: This story and the next illustrate what I love about Bentley Little, which is that he'll take an idea, follow it along its logical trajectory, and then add another kink or twist and follow that.

In this case, we have a bizarre set-up for a Texas Chainsaw Massacre/The Hills Have Eyes 'family on vacation runs into Ed Gein/Sawney Bean ghouls', but as soon as we get to that point, Little swerves away to something else. 

It isn't perfect--that "something else" is familiar territory for horror stories of this era, and once we get there it's maybe a page or so too long--but I liked it.  

Where to Find It: The Horror Show Winter 1988 issue--but you may be better off looking in Little's 2002 collection named, uh, The Collection. 

The Survivalist by Bentley Little

Synopsis: A man moves his family to the country, looking for a fresh start, but winds up in a survivalist community.

Thoughts: A perfect author-subject fit; Little shines when he magnifies the pre-existing weirdness of modern American life, and the survivalist movement that took off in the 1980s is an obvious target. The low-hanging fruit would be to make the prepper community all slavering, gun-clutching reactionaries in a William Cooper mold, and there is a bit of that (fair 'nuff), but Little goes in a whimsical direction.

Far from the best of Little's work--it's ultimately a little thin, and one or two more touches of weirdness like the hand-drawn art on the survivalist fliers--but Little is so good that even lesser Little (little Little?) is a fun time.

Where to Find It: This didn't make the cut into The Collection, alas. You're stuck looking for issue 17 of Eldritch Tales.

Fright Wig by Richard Lee Byers

Synopsis: A skeptical loudmouth discovers the truth behind a traveling voodoo sideshow.

Thoughts: Eh. There are a couple of clever touches here, mainly around the reveal, which seems like it's going to relitigate classic zombie shockers like Ramsey Campbell's "Call First," but goes someplace more. . .plausible?

However, our asshole main character is just too abrasive to be fun, even if he's supposed to be the designated victim. So we wind up slogging through a version of Sydney J. Bounds' "The Circus." A letdown, following the Little stories.

 Where to Find It: 2AM's Winter 1998 issue. Or spring for a copy of Byer's own collection The Things That Crawl. 

Have It Your Way by Don Hornbostel

Synopsis: A young boy has the ability to bring the dead back to life.

Thoughts: I recently heard a horror writer say that some people seem to think that once Stephen King covers something. that's his territory. That does seem to be the case with some horror fans, even when it's something like Pet Sematary, which is itself just the umpteenth reworking of "The Monkey's Paw."

Still, this is closer to Pet Sematary than other "Monkey's Paw" adaptations, although it inverts King's scenario: Instead of the father descending into reanimator madness, it's the son. There's a touch of "It's a Good Life" here, with the dad living in fear of the kid, but instead of "evil kid terrorizes adults" or "kid with special powers gets their own back against mean adults," there's a little bit of both here. It's a good story that adds nuance to what could be a stock plot.

Where to Find It: The Scream Factory #4.

A Binding of Briars by Tracy Albert Knight

Story: A reluctant vampire finds that he's contracted AIDS.

Thoughts: Fang-tastic! You can tell this is a late 80s horror story because not only does it work in the topical AIDS crisis, but it pulls in that staple of the era, a charismatic evangelical preacher.

However, there are twists upon twists: For example--the preacher is what you'd expect, but there's an odd frenemy relationship between him and Derek, and they achieve an odd detente. 

Similarly, while the vampires/AIDS idea has been done in other contexts, Knight's innovation is to make Derek welcome the disease: It's something that makes him more human, and gives him a chance at release from his hideous existence. 

There are even some interesting thematic resonances between vampirism and homosexuality: Derek and his friends were on a drunken bender to celebrate high school graduation when "they had been accosted and forced into an alleyway. Derek could not remember the faces of their assailants. They were huge and shadowy. The boys could not defend themselves in their drunken stupors." Like so many vampire attacks, this sounds like a sexual assault, and reminds one of the ignorant myths about victims of same-sex assault becoming gay as a result--'turned' or 'infected,' as it were. Note, by the way, that Derek and friends were implicitly heterosexual before being turned, having "gone to Peoria to tie one on in celebration of their high school graduation. They had visited one of the local whorehouses[...]"  I never figured Peoria for a red-hot party city, but there you go. 

And, Derek still attempts to date women from time to time, but it doesn't work out because his new appetites threaten to override his natural sexual appetites, so he winds up pushing them away. 

That's not the only way Derek fights his "true nature." Derek draws the scorn of his friends by refusing to openly (well, as openly as a vampire can) participate in their "lifestyle" (deathstyle?). "It's nothing we haven't seen before," one of them comments as Derek skulks off to drink the blood. This, by the way, sets up one of the story's strongest moments, in which Derek's friends mock their 'ethical vampire' compatriot by telling him about the victim who supplied his blood.

To be clear, neither Knight, nor the story, nor myself are arguing anything as reductive and offensive as "gay men=vampires."  Rather, it's that these situations and images mirror and echo and sometimes invert tropes and stereotypes around something (in this case, views of AIDS and homosexuality). It's not a 1:1 allegory, but a mix of complicated issues and metaphors that provoke and unsettle. 

Oh, and, y'know, it's also a well-written horror story.

Where to Find It: Grue Magazine #7. 

Bleeding Between the Lines by Wayne Allen Sallee

Synopsis: A writer (Sallee?) discusses his life and work with a psychiatrist.

Thoughts: Whoa.

Sort of like "Is This A Horror Story?" in Quick Chills II, this story offers a heady metafictional tale with a great ending. That said, I'm not convinced it works (sort of like "Is This A Horror Story?", actually). I enjoy the weird, self-referential hints of a whole that pop up in Sallee's work. It reminds me of, you guessed it, Dennis Etchison, since Etchison's work also often makes reference to other stories in oblique, passing ways. 

It's the difference between, I don't know, the cryptic lyrics of "Worthless" in The Brave Little Toaster and some 50,000 word fan fiction on some benighted wiki somewhere giving a backstory of all the cars. On that spectrum, Sallee's piece moves closer to the self-indulgent than the cryptic. 

Still, killer ending. 

Where to Find It: 2AM Winter 1988 does it again! Karl Edward Wagner picked this up for volume 17 of his Year's Best Horror Stories series. It's in a couple collections of Sallee's own work as well. 

The Angry Dead by Buzz Dixon

Synopsis: An industry insider tells the real story behind the rise and fall of horror-punkers The Angry Dead and the ill-fated solo career of its singer.

Thoughts: Good example of how entertaining narration can punch up an otherwise stock plot. A lot of writing about music suffers because it's hard to convey over text. The best I can think of, at least as far as horror writers are concerned, is probably David J. Schow.

What Dixon does here that works is to focus not on the audio, but the visual, aspect of rock music. In the case of a shock-punk band like The Angry Dead, the image and vibe are the key, and Dixon's story zeroes in on that to good effect.

The KISS bashing is fun, too--that band's rage at being overshadowed by their opener reminds me of the stories I heard Handsome Dick Manitoba of The Dictators tell about their short-lived stint opening for KISS.

Where to Find It: Eldritch Tales 17, which seems to have been a real winner. 

Autobahn Eternal by Brian Hodge

Synopsis: After speed demon Keith died in a metaphysically improbable car accident, his friend returns to the scene. Big mistake.

Thoughts: Now, here's something interesting! Hodge wrote a story called "Red Zone" for The Horror Show in the late 1980s. It's maybe a definitionally "good, not great" story, and it was not the sort of thing that cries out for a sequel. However, after Hodge saw the illustration in The Horror Show for his story and came up with the idea for a sequel, he wrote this.

If "Red Zone" is "It's My Party" then this is "Judy's Turn To Cry." It's passable enough, and it's fun that it exists, but it's not necessary.

That said, "Red Zone" isn't as good as "It's My Party" but "Autobahn Eternal" is better than "Judy's Turn To Cry." 

There's some cool stuff here--the idea of a car made out of the body parts of car crash victims is kind of hokey, but the notion that it's powered by oil and gas that seeps into the ground after auto wrecks is cool. 

Where to Find It: The Horror Show, Summer 1988 issue. 

Shapeshifter by Rickey L. Shanklin

Synopsis: A private investigator fights an invulvernable shapeshifter. Luckily, our gumshoe has some powers of his own. . .

Thoughts:  "He knows nothing of my mental communion with wood," he thought. 

If that doesn't pique your interest in this story, I'm not sure what could. Emphasis in the original, btw. 

This story predates Terminator 2 by a few years, but for anyone reading this story post-1991, it's hard not to imagine the T-1000. And that's before we learn that the shapeshifter is able to regenerate tissue, making physical damage inconvenient but far from lethal. But this story is entirely its own thing. 

It's very comic-book like, in the logic and the way things play out. The Shapeshifter's plan, which is to ruin the reputations of some of the city's most prominent citizens by disguising itself as them and then committing horrific crimes, is the same as that of the Skrulls from Fantastic Four #2. That should give you an idea of the Silver Age lunacy on display, although it's married to a sometimes unpleasantly twisted sense of humor. 

It's rough around the edges, but it's also creative. And demented. Its closest relative is J.R. Bookwalter's incredible Ozone, and in some places that's not a compliment, but it is here.

Where to Find It: Eldritch Tales 16. Something was in the water over there!

Danse Macabre by Joseph E. Dressler

Synopsis: Two brothers live under the thrall of their wicked relative.

Thoughts: Spoilers, both for this and for the movie Weapons:

This is nuts; it's essentially the second half of Weapons. We have an evil old lady who's taken over her relatives' home, and forces them to do her bidding by making them harm themselves if they resist. Said bidding involves stealing a child and taking the kid to the cellar where the evil crone can harvest her life force. . .

To be clear, there are differences as well and even if Zach Cregger is a horror fan, I rather doubt he has copies of Deathrealm magazine sitting around. No, I'd chalk this up to great minds thinking alike. And, make no mistake--this is a great story. If you've seen Weapons, then you have a sense of the oppressive horror this story conjures up--but, it's even grimmer here. Recommended. 

Where to Find It: Deathrealm, Spring 1989 issue. 

On the Side of the Road by Ken Wisman

Synopsis: A family's car trip takes a wrong turn into a horde of monsters. 

Thoughts: Enfantino introduces this story by saying it's the sort of creature feature that's gone out of fashion in favor of psychological horror. On the basis of this story, I can see why. It plays out like the end of a Superjail! episode, with everyone getting devoured or mutilated by horrible, creative monsters. Fun, sure, but there's no heart or humanity here, other than the hearts of the humans getting eaten by bears with too many mouths and other things. 

To be fair to Wisman--he does try to make us care. We get a fair amount of backstory on the father and the personal and economic stakes he has in getting to his brother's cabin and landing a new job. There's effort there, and I appreciate it.

But Dad's the only one who gets any depth. The result is an unpleasant bit of lukewarm sputum: On the one hand, the piecemeal massacre of the family is upsetting and cruel, but on the other hand, we never know them beyond TV commercial cliches so when they die, who cares? 

I like the ending, which feels a little bit like it comes from another story. But--when that story is Quatermass II, well, I'm a sucker for Nigel Kneale-ish antics. 

Where to Find It: Deathrealm, Spring 1989 issue. Deathrealm publisher Stephen Mark Rainey later included the story in a 2004 greatest hits collection called Deathrealms. 

Not from Detroit by Joe R. Lansdale

Synopsis: An elderly couple receives a visit from the motorist Death.

Thoughts: And so we end as we began--with a well-known story from a well-known author that I didn't like the first time I read it for reasons that make no sense to me in retrospective. 

This is a modern folk tale--Death's black carriage updated for the age of the internal combustion engine. And it works in that tradition, touching on elements of folklore and trickster tales from American culture and beyond.

It's straightforward, but Lansdale throws in his inimitable little touches. My favorite is that license plates on Death's car read "DEATH/EXEMPT." I also enjoy that Death is an antagonist, inasmuch as dying is the great enemy of all living things, but he's not an unpleasant guy.

Where to Find It: Midnight Graffiti, Fall 1988 issue. This one is in a ton of collections and anthologies, including The Essential Horror of Joe R. Lansdale and High Cotton: Selected Stories. Of note--it got a reprint in the 1990s YA anthology Bruce Coville's Book of Ghosts.