Scary Ghost Stories And Tales of the Gories of Christmases Long Long Ago: 12 Christmas Horror Stories

 

                                                                                

This was one of the first posts I had the idea for when I decided to start the blog, so I'm excited about this one. 12 Days of Christmas--12 Horror Stories. Let's Go! And--don't worry about that picture above. It'll make sense soon enough.

1) "The Stocking" by Nigel Kneale

Synopsis: A poor young child's Christmas stocking is a conduit for unimaginable horror.

Why It's On The Nice List: Maybe the meanest story I've ever read that still had artistic value. Certainly the meanest one originally written in English. It's like Charles Birkin's "The Hens," but with a Christmas coat of paint on it. That's only scratching (eek) the surface here. This is a story every time I think of it, part of me wonders "How was this allowed to be written?"

How Christmas-y Is It? 12 out of 12 Rats A-Leaping! The real horror with this is that Christmas magic is the engine of the poor kid's doom (which, in a funny way, foreshadows the Kneale-related Halloween III: Season of the Witch, which uses Halloween magic as the engine of some poor kids' doom).

Where to Find It: Kneale's Tomato Cain. It was also in Horrors for Christmas (ed. Richard Dalby). You really need to read this, one way or another (even if, upon finishing it, you'll wish you hadn't). And, if that sounds like too much for you, then at least read Bill Ryan's excellent review of Tomato Cain, which involves a detailed discussion of "The Stocking."

2) "The Decorations" by Ramsey Campbell

Synopsis: David's Christmas visit to his grandparents is marred by his grandmother's dementia--particularly as it relates to their Christmas decorations.

Why It's On The Nice List: Once you get past the scares, take a look at the craft. One of the things that first made me fall in love with Campbell was his approach to describing the gruesome things which inhabit his worlds. There's a combination of understatement and irony and obliqueness that makes his indirect descriptions all the more vivid. And so, here, after the Santa decoration has flown from the roof, David "wasn't sure if he would prefer not to be alone to see the grinning object flounder and begin to edge towards the house. As it twitched several inches he regretted ever having tipped an insect over to watch it struggle on its back."

Ugh. And, at the climax, we have some classic Campbell description: "She wore a long white dress, if the vague pale mass wasn't part of her, for her face looked inflated to hollowness, close to bursting. Perhaps that was why her mouth was stretched so wide, but her grin was terrified." Great stuff, any way you look at it, but the "if" and the "perhaps" make this a masterpiece. I'm not quite sure why--some of it, I think, is that it suggests a mind trying to comprehend exactly what it's looking at, and there's also a weird element of humor and dramatic irony (this character is standing there trying to puzzle out what's going on when they should be running and/or arming themselves).

How Christmas-y Is It? 12 out of 12 Decorative Santas: The story itself can only take place on Christmas; you could imagine a version of this with inflatable Halloween decorations, I suppose, but that would be a bit on the nose, no? And, as usual with Campbell, he's working on multiple levels of fear. This isn't just finding horror in Christmas decorations, but finding horror in family, and aging (and horrifying specters).

Where to Find It: First published in chapbook form, but probably easiest to find in Campbell's collections Holes for Faces and The Retrospective and Other Phantasmagorical Stories. Also reprinted in Mammoth Book of Best Horror 17 (ed. Stephen Jones).

3) "The Night Before Christmas" by Robert Bloch

Synopsis: An artist gets lucky--in more ways than one-- when a business magnate hires him to paint a portrait of his beautiful wife. Things all come to a head (heh heh heh) over the holidays.

Why It's On The Nice List: You couldn't have American horror fiction without Robert Bloch. From his refining of the Weird Tales tradition and the Cthulhu Mythos to practically inventing the psycho-thriller with Norman Bates, the man's shadow looms large. This isn't the greatest Bloch story, but for me it's the quintessential Bloch-as-prankster tale. I can see the final page in my head as though it were an EC comic, and it mixes just enough ghastly humor with just enough ghastly horror to work.

How Christmas-y Is It? Four Puns Four Christmas: The bulk of the story has no connection to Christmas. The only reason it does is to let Bloch do his thing, and whack us with a nasty closing image and equally nasty wordplay.

Where to Find It: You have a lot of options. The obvious is Kirby McCauley's famous anthology Dark Forces, but Charles Grant printed it in the excellent Terrors. For Christmas specific anthologies, it appears in the Dalby Horrors for Christmas as well as The Twelve Frights of Christmas (ed. Isaac Asimov, Martin Greenberg, and Charles Waugh). And, it's reprinted in Bloch's uneven but sometimes brilliant Midnight Pleasures.

4) "The Importance of a Tidy Home" by Christopher Golden

Synopsis: Two homeless men in Salzburg encounter the bird-faced Schnabelperchten, who punish messy houses with their silver scissors.

Why It's On The Nice List: The Krampus has been run into the ground, alas. But, Golden has dug up another seasonal folkloric monster from Europe and goes to town. The Schnabelperchten combine so many weird details (the bird faces, the scissors, the lethal insistence on cleanliness) that, if you've never encountered these things before, you'll have your mind blown. Golden doesn't stop there, though--he plays around, in fun ways, with the "rules" (what happens, for example, if you don't have a home? And, what exactly is a 'home', anyway?). It's wild and wonderful and brings the goods as, you know, a scary horror story.

How Christmas-y Is It? 8 out of 12 (a nice, orderly, even number) Schnabelperchten: This is the eve of Epiphany, so it's at the tail end of Christmas. But, it is still Christmas season. And, rituals involving fantastic beings entering your home and delivering rewards and punishments is a core part of the Christmas tradition.

Where to Find It: Ellen Datlow has you covered: You can get this from her Christmas and Other Horrors, and then in her Best Horror of the Year Vol 16.

5) "Seasons of Belief" by Michael Bishop

Synopsis: Stefa and Jimbo's parents tell them a Christmas story about the menacing Grither--a gigantic anti-Santa who lives in the North Pole but is more than happy to pay a visit when his name is mentioned. . .

Why It's On The Nice List: Another story about Christmas intruders, and about being naughty and nice. Anticipation is one of the most exciting parts of the Christmas season, and Bishop expertly manipulates the power of anticipation here, as the threat of the Grither comes closer and closer. . .

Also: Tales from the Darkside was at its best when dealing with holidays. We discussed its adaptation of Tom Monteleone's "The Cutty-Black Sow" back in October. If you haven't watched "Seasons of Belief" (adapted for television by the late great horror scribe Michael McDowell), you should rectify that. And if you already have seen it, then you still owe the story itself a read.

How Christmas-y Is It? 12 out of 12 Grithers Grithing: Technically, the story doesn't have to take place during Christmas--you could make this a generic legend. But, this carries on the tradition of things like Silent Night, Deadly Night and, in particular, Donald Westlake's "Nackles." Also, I appreciate the dirty trick from the title: If you went into this only knowing that Bishop wrote across all genres of fiction, you might expect an uplifting holiday fantasy. It, uh, isn't.

Where to Find It: It's popped up in a random hodgepodge of anthologies; the most bang for your buck is either Shadows 2 (ed. Charles L. Grant) or 100 Fiendish Little Frightmares (ed. Stefan Dziemianowicz, Martin H. Greenberg, and Robert Weinberg). Bishop's own collection One Winter in Eden has this as well as "Within the Walls of Tyre," another excellent story relevant to horror fans.

6) "And May All Your Christmases" by Thana Niveau

Synopsis: A family's picture perfect Christmas is buried in never-ending snowfall.

Why It's On The Nice List: This isn't the first story about endless, apocalyptic snow, and it's not my favorite even within that microgenre (top honors go to Donald Burleson's "Snow Cancellations." However, Niveau's tale captures the wonder and excitement of a family Christmas, strips it all away, and replaces it with doom and fear.

How Christmas-y Is It? 7 out of 12 Inches of Snow Forecast for the Next Hour (and the hour after that, and the hour after that...): It doesn't have to take place on Christmas as such, but it packs more of a kick for doing so.

Where to Find It: The 13 Ghosts of Christmas (ed. Simon Marshall-Jones), and Niveau's own Octoberland.

7) "The Story of a Disappearance and an Appearance" by MR James

Synopsis: A man's search for his missing uncle over the Christmas holidays leads him to a sinister Punch and Judy show.

Why It's On The Nice List: The English Christmas ghost story tradition is a venerable one, and James was maybe its greatest practitioner. However, most of his stories have nothing to do with Christmas as such. This is different, and while it's not one of his most renowned stories, it has the distinction of having always creeped me out. Most of it is in the description of the Punch and Judy show, which has always struck me as one of the most perverse and unnerving forms of entertainment; in James' hands, it takes on even higher levels of terror.

How Christmas-y Is It? 5 out of 12 Schillings or Ha'pence or Bob or Guvnors or whatever the hell it is they used in the UK to pay for Punch and Judy shows. The Christmas connection feels tangential, but it wins points back for being part of English Christmas tradition. And, you know, I'm awfully fond of it.

Where to Find It: There are approximately two hundred zillion editions of James' collected ghost stories, almost any of which will have this, and if you have any interest in supernatural literature, you should get yourself some James. You can also find it in various anthologies of Christmas stories; of particular interest would be Peter Haining's Christmas Spirits, Richard Dalby's Ghosts for Christmas,  Tanya Kirk's Spirits of the Season: Christmas Hauntings, and Flame Tree Press' Christmas Gothic Short Stories.

8) "Smee" by A.M. Burrage

Synopsis: A ghost joins a group of partygoers playing hide-and-seek.

Why It's On The Nice List: One of the most thrilling types of horror, I think, is the dramatic irony when a person is in the close presence of something or someone they would do much better to not be around. It's so powerful, in fact, that you don't even need something bad to happen (at least, "onscreen"). That's what happens here. The thing about many of these English ghost stories is that they are ghost stories, not horror stories. Nobody is the worse for wear after the whole story is over, but while you're reading it, it's still hair-raising.

How Christmas-y Is It? 7 out of 12 Smee Players: Technically this story could happen whenever people are gathered together to play hide-and-seek variants in a rambling house. But, again, this is a fine English Christmas ghost story, which bumps the inherent Yule-ness of it up a couple points.

Where to Find It: Oh, gosh. This has been reprinted a bunch of times (it may be public domain by now); any collection of Burrage's fiction will likely have this. Ghosts for Christmas (ed. Richard Dalby) has this one, and so does the Kirk Spirits of the Season mentioned above. Another good place to look would be Marvin & Saralee Kaye's Ghosts: A Treasury of Chilling Tales Old and New; the Kaye horror anthologies are invariably intelligent and literate volumes that take an expansive look at what horror fiction is while also containing plenty of surefire horror classics. The Oxford Book of English Ghost Stories (ed. Michael Cox & R.A. Gilbert) tracks the evolution of the English ghost story over a 150 year period,  including this story.

9) " A Christmas Story" by James Dorr

Synopsis: Charles' plans for a Christmas proposal fall afoul of his future stepson's vendetta against Santa Claus.

Why It's On The Nice List: Back to the conte cruel! This isn't as nasty as "The Stocking"; it's closer to the black humor of its most famous predecessor, the "why I hate Christmas" speech from Gremlins.

What makes this more than a bit of disposable nastiness is the fact that little Timmy isn't just an evil kid--he really loves Charles, which is what's going to make Christmas morning just terrible for him (I like to think that Charles is going to be okay and get his stomach pumped, but I don't really believe that, do I?).

How Christmas-y Is It? 12 out of 12 Scoops of Rat Poison! It takes place on Christmas Eve and the entire horrific scenario revolves around Santa and the tradition of leaving milk and cookies (or, in this case, a sandwich) out for the big guy.

Where to Find It: I first encountered this in my beloved The Best of Cemetery Dance (ed. Richard Chizmar). That's probably the easiest place, since the rest of this story's publications seem obscure.

10) "The Coffin-House" by Robert Aickman

 Synopsis: It's WWII, and two members of the Women's Land Army spending Christmas in the country stumble upon an odd couple in a cabin.

 Why It's On The Nice List: "A third English ghost story for Christmas? Really?" Maybe, but this is Aickman we're talking about. Aickman's "strange stories" stretch the British tradition of supernatural fiction to its breaking point, taking it in unnerving new directions. This is particularly bizarre, and taps into the logic of a nightmare. Nothing really makes sense, but everything sort of does. Ambiguity has its limits, of course, but this story permanently lurks in the back of my mind.

 How Christmas-y Is It? 2 out of 12 Creepy Old People. Aickman does catch on that Christmas Day feeling of needing to get out of the house and away from the unpleasant family dynamics and go do something, even if it's a desultory walk in the countryside. Otherwise, this has nothing obviously to do with Christmas, and it's far from Aickman's best work, but it's a personal favorite.

Where to Find It: The Aickman collections Compulsory Games and The Strangers and Other Writings. And, funny enough, Best New Horror 27 (ed. Stephen Jones). Rather fitting that Aickman had a posthumous contribution.

11) "Nutcracker Nightmare" by RL Stine

Synopsis: A young girl is trapped in an endless--and I mean endless--production of The Nutcracker.

Why It's On The Nice List: I wanted a few things that you might not have heard of before. This is a nugget from one of the better spin-offs of the Goosebumps empire--More & More & More Tales to Give You Goosebumps, a Christmas/winter themed collection of short stories with an exceptionally '90s cover. The gift set also came with the "Official Goosebumps Stocking," by the way, which is a big furry green glove that everyone in my third grade class clawed at each other with. I don't know whether the book got as much love from anyone but me, but it should have, because the stories are great. Each of them had a twist or an image that's stuck with me into adulthood, not least the hell of endless cultural enrichment. And Stine pays it off with a killer last line; Bloch would be proud.

How Christmas-y Is It? 7 out of 12 Decades of the Nutcracker in a Row: You could easily write this story without the ballet in question being The Nutcracker, although that's probably one of the few ballets the kids reading this book would've seen (maybe Swan Lake is the other). But, in a weird meta-sense it does capture the frustration of waiting, especially as a kid around Christmas.

Where to Find It: More & More & More Tales to Give You Goosebumps is, I suspect, the only game in town. It's really worthwhile, by the way--there were several stories from that book competing for the kiddie nostalgia slot here, but "Nutcracker Nightmare" is unlike anything else on this list.

12) "Behind The Doors" by Ramsey Campbell

Synopsis: An advent calendar leads an old man down a mathematical maze as he grapples with memories of an abusive teacher.

 Why It's On The Nice List: I realize I'm committing horror heresy by putting two of Ramsey's Christmas themed stories on here and having neither one be the World Fantasy Award winning story "The Chimney." However, I've never loved that one as much as everyone else. What I do love? The way that Campbell weaves tapestries of horror in stories like these, where everyday slights, "real" fears (aging, family dysfunction, humiliation), psychological breakdown, and supernatural horror are all part of the same picture. It also reminds me of Campbell's excellent The Count of Eleven--another of his works where jumbles of numbers replace the frequent motif of word salad, puns, and malapropisms.

How Christmas-y Is It? 16 out of 24 Doors on an Advent Calendar (that's 8 out of 12, scaled up): The advent calendar is front and center, but this doesn't feel as "about" Christmas as "The Decorations". Part of it is that this is much more psychological than the comparatively more visual "The Decorations."

Where to Find It: I read it in Holes for Faces. But you can also find it in Memoryville Blues (ed. Peter Crowther & Nick Gevers), and Best British Horror 2014 (ed. Johnny Mains).