Special Review: CIRCUS OF THE DEAD, ed. Chad Anctil

 

How's this for a Halloween season treat? Right after I got the blog up and running, Chad Anctil reached out with some ARCs of anthologies to see if I'd be interested to review some. The answer being, "Yes, of course, obviously." My focus here is generally horror stories from the small to mainstream press from that mid-80s to mid-2000s period, but I'm interested anytime, anywhere anyone is telling stories that are dark or horrific. And one of these anthologies, Circus of the Dead, grabbed my attention.

Obligatory disclosure about conflict of interest or lack thereof: Chad provided me with the ARC, but otherwise there's no quid pro quo here of any sort.

I had some qualms going in because of Scary Clowns. I'm not scared of clowns, I don't love clowns, I'm generally indifferent towards clowns. And, there have been some great scary clowns (Anctil identifies most of them in his introduction), but (like creepy kids and sinister dolls), too often there's a "Wow, you expected the fun innocent thing to be NICE? No, it's Twisted!" autopilot approach.

I am delighted that is not the case. In this book, I found that the clown stories were often the stand-outs, which has led me to propose the Clown-Quality Hypothesis:

Clown-Quality Hypothesis (CQH): "In an anthology of circus and carnival themed horror, there is a positive correlation between the presence of clowns in a story and that story's quality." The stronger form of the CQH posits that increasing the number of clowns to a story would in fact strengthen that story's quality.

So, sorry. This isn't fun and games at the circus. This is a scientific study, and we are going to review the data. Ready? Let's go!

The Only Good Clown is a Dead Clown by Donovan Douglas Thiesson

Synopsis: A clown slayer plies his craft at the carnival.

Thoughts: What an opening! This is really good. Well paced, exciting, funny, and a new twist on the killer clown trope. Thiesson explains the various bits of vampire-inspired lore as we go: Being bitten by a clown turns you into one, unless you drink clown blood (it's like snake anti-venom). Newly turned clowns are "clown pups." Carnies are thralls and go-betweens for the clowns, kind of like Renfield. And so on.

The writing walks a tightrope with the ease of a circus acrobat: The subject matter is absurd, and the hardboiled narrative is often very funny, but Thiesson plays it straight. There are no bizarro excesses--the story mostly stays grounded. Here's a bit from very early on:

"The children stop snickering and quickly move along, kicking at the crumpled plastic cups and deflated popcorn bags peppering the greedy fairground earth. Soil turns different when a circus settles upon it. I’m reminded of the Romans salting the ground of the lands they conquered, only this soil is salted by the blood of stolen infants."

I made the note "THIS KICKS ASS" next to the paragraph when I was reading this, and it does. And the whole story is like this.

Does It Support the Clown-Quality Hypothesis? Yes. Best story in the book by far, and advances the notion of the scary clown in fun and exciting ways.

The Crimson Carnival by Suzanne Bjornson

Synopsis: A washed-up magician finds a second chance at the Crimson Carnival.

Thoughts: I was concerned by the first few paragraphs, which are in telling, not showing mode, full of conclusory statements informing us of Malcolm the Magnificent's downfall. Looking back on the whole story, I feel differently: This is a very short one, and it's less focused on an expansive, fleshed-out narrative as much as it is an uncanny fable. Good stuff.

I have to ask, though: Given what the Crimson Carnival is like, what does Malcolm do during the day? There must be a lot of awkward silences around the camp.

Does It Support the Clown-Quality Hypothesis? No.  This is a good story, and it wouldn't be better with clowns. We're focused here on magicians, not clowns, but and the whole conceit of the story has to do with illusion and disappearance. Adding clowns would dilute the power.

Dog Days, Wolf Nights by Tim Newton Anderson

Synopsis: The freakshow's Dog-Faced Boy is a romantic and a poet who yearns to connect with the outside world. A mysterious young woman offers him that chance.

Thoughts: Besides clowns, the other themes that pop up in this book a lot are freaks and magicians. The horror relevance of both is obvious. This is an intelligent and entertaining story focused on the freakshow, and the only reason it's not a top 5 story for the collection is because there are a lot of strong tales in Circus of the Dead.

One thing I appreciate is Anderson's refusal to take easy exits. I've read stories with similar set-ups where the author keeps the "shocking surprise" for the final twist, even though the reader figured out the "twist" by the time they were done with the title and is waiting to see if there's going to be a second fillip. This is not one of those stories. Along the way, Anderson offers some nice bits of character work; in particular, I like the magician who claims to have been a great actor, and takes the opportunity to go into town and laugh loudly and performatively at the "inferior" acting in movies and plays. Similarly, I like how Anderson plays with the general inversion of the "circus people aren't the same when the show ends" theme in the case of the trapeze artists: All the other characters he mentions have an outward showbiz persona and then their actual selves. And at first that seems to be the case with the Flying Ricardis: They're not Italian, they're Polish, and they're political refugees. But then we learn that story is likely "as far from reality as they were when they were swinging through the air on their trapezes." That is something of a throughline in the story--people are not what they seem, and then they're not what they seem to actually be, either.

Does It Support the Clown-Quality Hypothesis? I'm beginning to worry about the CQH, folks. Not a clown in sight, I think, and a high quality circus story nonetheless. I'm not worried about the anthology, though--this is the third strong story in a row.

Possibilities by Lynn White

Synopsis: A horse and rider run for freedom.

Thoughts: Every hot streak ends, and this is the first stumble from the anthology. There's not much, just a sketch, and one which isn't really horror-related, even under an expansive definition.

Does It Support the Clown-Quality Hypothesis? Yes!! The problem is that "Possibilities" is too abstract--which isn't the same thing as being too poetical (a good poem often anchors itself in key bits of sensory imagery). And if you insist on abstraction, well, just change the horseback rider into a clown and watch the potential symbolism of the piece (riding off into an uncertain future--is it foolish or brave) expand!

Aunt Frankie's Family Fun by Deidra Whitt Lovegren

Synopsis: The cold war between Aunt Frankie's Family Fun and Uncle Louie's Shock-Toberfest goes hot when psychotic carnie cousins launch a raid.

Thoughts: Okay, one horse galloped away with our hot streak, but the show goes on! This is an entertaining story of trailer-trash scuzzballs with a bit of a light splatterpunk edge. I also think this is a good example of how to go over the top in a creative way: Having a character crash a go-kart into a tree while smoking meth is fun, but having his surviving family members steal a sheet cake from a bakery truck to celebrate is, well, icing on the stolen cake. The key there for me is having it be sheet cake, which gives the throwaway gag that extra touch of both squalor and verisimilitude. Like "Only Good Clown", this is a lot of fun to read. The climax reminds me a little bit of Richard Laymon's Funland. Good stuff.

Does It Support the Clown-Quality Hypothesis? This is a tough one for CQH partisans because there aren't many clowns at all, yet the story is damn good (I think it's a top five for the book).

The Show Must Go On by Joshua Vise

Synopsis: Gerry Morecount isn't just a clown, he's a daredevil who defies death again and again under the big top. How does he do it?

Thoughts: If you've even glanced in the direction of a horror comic once, you'll figure out where this is going right away. Which isn't a problem, because the point is Vise's skillful execution of Morecount's backstory and the description of the guy himself. This hits all the right spots.

Does It Support the Clown-Quality Hypothesis? Yes! This is a Good Story and it is All About Clowns! We (CQH advocates) are so back.

The Fire Fairy by Toby Crabbe

Synopsis: The Fire Fairy's act begins in beauty...and ends in terror.

Thoughts: I wonder if this might not be better as a poem. The story is strongest in the imagery--I still have a general allergy to fairies, but the fire fairy pops just the way I think Crabbe had in mind when he sat down to write this. It would also solve the two problems I have with this story. First, there are too many short sentences. By around the third page we get some relief in the form of longer and more varied sentence structures, but staccato short sentences are surprisingly exhausting to read--each period functions as a speed bump. I don't know if this is Crabbe's style in general and I just don't vibe with it, or if it's a deliberate attempt to make the story more imagistic and to draw the reader from one idea to the next as though their eyes are tracking the flitting flames of a fire fairy. If that's the case, then going full-blown poem might work better.

The second problem I have involves narrative logic. At various parts in the story the audience is getting (literally, I assume) set on fire and otherwise preyed upon. Yet, at the end, they're spilling out of the tent to see the next show at the carnival. I get this is a 'dark fantasy carnival' so there may be some illusion or witchcraft at work--but as it is, this odd audience behavior broke immersion for me. If it's part of some of the metaphors I think are present here about the appeal of the fantastic and macabre, then making this more of a poem and less something tied to a real world might help.

Regardless of whether this is a story or a poem though, I commend Crabbe for the strong finish in the last two lines.

Does It Support the Clown-Quality Hypothesis? Yes. Although there's a lot of parts I enjoy, I don't quite think it coheres all the way. And there aren't really a single clown in sight! One wonders, trembling, if a fire clown would be an innovation, but remember that Blue Oyster Cult already tried that and we wound up with their weakest album from their classic era (Further BOC-CQH investigation is beyond the remit of this blogpost).

Carousoul by Jacek Wilkos

Synopsis: The scariest ride at this carnival isn't a roller coast...it's the carousel.

Thoughts: Besides Freaks, the other foundation of carnival/circus-specific horror is surely Something Wicked This Way Comes. While James Dorr's story (see below) is the tale in this collection most overtly indebted to Freaks, this story is the most indebted to SWTWC. That, plus the short length, put a ceiling on this story--there's only so much it can do. However, it does it perfectly (and sticks the landing with the final line). Sometimes, that's enough. Think about it: A Tilt-a-Whirl or a Zipper does the same thing every time, too, and it doesn't last very long and you've had the same experience before. But, especially in the hands of a competent operator, it'll still hit the spot. That's what this story is.

Does It Support the Clown-Quality Hypothesis? No; this is evidence against. "Carousel that steals your soul" is not at all a new concept, but this is a clean efficient story with good word choices. Adding a clown in any respect would dilute the potency of the core image, and make the whole thing feel chintzy.

Entry of the Gladiators by Chad Anctil

Synopsis: In one arena, the circus returns to its brutal, bloodthirsty roots.

Thoughts: Did you know that the classic "circus music" is in fact an old military march called "Entry of the Gladiators?" Anyway, this is the second best entry in the book. Clowns are the good guys, endlessly fighting monsters, and it's fun to watch the clowns reappropriate circus tricks and tools (oversized hammers, juggling clubs, tumbling) for combat.

The other thing I appreciate about this is I think Anctil does a great job making action and combat fun to read. The tricky thing about action scenes is that the writer often wants to describe exactly what's happening, and make it vivid and cinematic. Unfortunately, large chunks of description slow everything down and force the reader to visualize the action. That's at cross-purposes to writing fast and exciting action. Anctil's story doesn't have this problem; instead, the action flows at a fast (but not rushed or confusing) pace.

Does It Support the Clown-Quality Hypothesis? YES. Right now CQH advocates are popping bottles of champagne in anticipation of tenure and grant money. This is the evidence we've been looking for. Second-best story in the book (not that there's anything wrong with it, but Thiesson's tale is just that good) all about clowns and clowning.

Ballet of the Dolls by James Dorr

Synopsis: The 'chicken dance'-a popular but cruel old circus routine--lives on.

Thoughts: Dorr was a name I recognized; he's been around for a while, and I've read some of his stuff in Cemetery Dance and Borderlands. They're solid stories, and he's racked up a bunch of Stoker and Rhysling and Dwarf Star nominations--mostly for poetry, but also for short fiction as well.

No surprise, the story is well-written and intelligent. My problem is that it is doing a little too much too quickly, and I think that's because Dorr wants to get the 'chicken dance' stuff in and because he wants to crib from the ending of Freaks, which is the touchstone for circus horror, and the rest is just figuring out how to get us to the ending. The images are memorable, but I think the timeframe is too condensed. Have the relationship between the main characters develop over a week or so (you can just tell us it does, you don't have to walk us each step of the way), and then the pivot to the rising action at the third act mark isn't as jarring.

Does It Support the Clown-Quality Hypothesis?  Unclear. Clowns appear in the background at best, and I don't think adding clowns to the mix would help either. This story is of a higher quality than the general lack of clowns would suggest if we follow the CQH, though.

Dead Pegasuses by Lawrence Dagstine

Synopsis: A young man signs on for a very unusual horse drive.

Thoughts: So that's what the thing on the cover of Razored Saddles is! I found this story frustrating, because the idea of dark winged horses, ridden by other evil spirits, being caught for the circus, is incredible. And there are lots of paragraphs that are new and scary. So half the story is great.

The problem is the other half. The Western background is drawn in broad strokes, but that's okay--part of the fun of a Weird West story is that you take the standard cowboy tropes and then twist them around something bizarre or impossible. The problem is more (and this is common to many of the stories in the book, unfortunately) that it's too short where it shouldn't be. There's a good set up for the big scary climax, and then it's over before it began. We're told over and over of how scary the Pegasi and their masters, the Winter Cucay, are, but we get to see precious little of it ourselves. It's the same thing with the end of the story, when the circus aspect comes into play: Dagstine introduces some troubling images and themes, but again we're told this and not shown.

Does It Support the Clown-Quality Hypothesis? Hard to say. This is a flawed story with some tremendous ideas and images. However, the best version of this story I can imagine doesn't have much space for clowns.

The Witch and the Lich Lord by Jasiah Witkofsky

Synopsis: AdaJahl, MageThief of Mezzarahain, finds himself in the middle of a carnival nightmare.

Thoughts: I'm not the target audience, although I tried to keep an open mind. I think some people would absolutely love the science fantasy world-building, and would really enjoy the big fight scene at the end. And I didn't dislike this, exactly. There is a bunch of cool stuff: The circus-horror part is fun, the twist is a good riff on an old trope, and I like the part where he hangs out and plays a war game, and triumphs by using the same sort of strategies he employs in his profession as a thief. That's engaging characterization.

Still--it just got wearisome to me. I'm the same way with most hard SF--some of it I can hang with, but a lot of the "crunch" that people who like hard SF like reading about bores me. I found this an overwhelming slog, even though individual sentences or ideas were good.

One thing I do think I'm right about, regardless of taste, is there's too much "sci-fi speak" in the piece. We have, for example, "BullHound," "BloodGnats", and "PipeWeed". I'm a big Cronenberg fan, so I love my Videodromes and my ConSecs and that sort of language, so I get the appeal of the "science fiction compound word with both parts of the compound capitalized." But only to a point, and this gets distracting.

Does It Support the Clown-Quality Hypothesis? Yes: There are some clowns, but a lot of other stuff too, and similarly I found the signal to noise ratio here to be a problem. Again, I feel like this is the story where my experience of it might be very different from others'.

The Clowns of the Apocalypse by Andrew Kurtz

Synopsis: The Clowns of the Apocalypse stir up violent desires in their audience.

Thoughts: I am a sucker for the "everyone goes nuts, starts manifesting their id, and butchers each other, preferably in short vignettes consisting of a character sketch followed by violent depravity" sub-genre of horror. James Herbert's The Fog and The Dark are the masterpieces of this writing, but there's plenty of stuff to choose from: Any number of Guy N. Smith and Shaun Hutson paperbacks, Tim Curran's The Devil Next Door, Dick Laymon's One Rainy Night, Richard Ayre's Minstrel books, Garth Ennis' Crossed, and Charles Platt's borderline obscene, JG Ballard meets "The Aristocrats" novel The Gas.

I was ready to love this, and I also like the conceit of an evil troupe of clowns whose performance reveals that all is meaningless and the only solution, really, is to grab your ice pick or pinking shears or tire iron, and go take it out on your friends and family. This concept at its best suggests a dizzying synthesis of two different forms of horror: On the one end, the cosmic clowning cruelty of a Thomas Ligotti, all high-flown and philosophical. And on the other, the blood red splatter of a paperback nasty.

But it isn't that. We have some solid murder vignettes, and I enjoyed the first one: Ronald stabbing his wife and then getting strangled by his daughter--both crimes spurred by the arguments they'd been having earlier. That's perfect The Fog territory! After that, though, there's very little "there", and what could have been a lot of nasty clown fun fizzles before it ever gets going. More circus, more mayhem, more.

Does It Support the Clown-Quality Hypothesis? Yes--it's an exception that proofs (not proves) the rule: This is a weak story and it, on paper, relies heavily on clowns. "Uh-oh," say proponents of the CQH. However, per the above, the main problem with this story is that there aren't enough clowns! Tell us what they're up to that strips away the lies and illusions of society, and that drives all who see it to madness! This really needs fleshing out and the clowns are the obvious place to do it. And flesh out the circus more at the beginning. Kurtz clearly wants to write about people doing nasty things to each other, and I want to read it. But we need more clowns to get us there.

13 Faces Underneath the Hat by Roberto Miguel A. Gaspar

Synopsis: Master chapeaugrapher Linnell the Box is a man of many hats. . .and faces.

Thoughts: We're in Thomas Ligotti territory here! Gaspar's writing is Ligotti-esque, in its use of mannered, circuitous sentence structures, dripping with disdain and despair. And the subject matter is Prime Ligotti as well--we have illusion and clowns and carnivals, and chapeaugraphy, which sounds exactly like the sort of art form Poe or Ligotti or a devotee thereof would invent if it didn't already exist!

Something I'm glad to see--because I feel like it might escape some people who are into stuff like Poe and Ligotti--is that both of those guys, as well as similar writers like Brian McNaughton, are funny. And Gaspar has that here. For example, he writes of his town that, before the carnival arrived, "entertainment consisted mostly of prattle wars among little boys by the cobblestone, hinting on uneducated curses; or of adults concealing the vulgarity with more flowery speeches. So, it was either between those forms, or to one which had exercised its efforts in becoming a profession, wherein the common men and women could find excitement from." This is funny, and it also tells us something about the narrator's milieu and how he thinks of himself.

There are some kinks here--I think they're largely due to the meandering, verbose writing style. And while that's usually a feature and not a bug in this story, there are enough times that something feels off.

Does It Support the Clown-Quality Hypothesis? I think so. Chapeaugraphy seems to straddle clowning on one side and illusion on the other. Similarly, I have mixed feelings about this story--it scratches the Ligotti itch nicely, the reveal is unsettling, and I learned something new (chapeaugraphy exists). On the other hand, I think the mannered writing sometimes gets in its own way.

The Marionette's Waltz by Suzanne Bjornson

Synopsis: A reporter investigates the Circus Bellamorte.

Thoughts: Maybe a little too much backstory here. I get hung up on the "only shows up every 100 years." That's...a long time. I get it, this is a mysterious spooky circus, but you have to wonder what they're doing the rest of the time! I've read variations on what happens in this story before, and there aren't many surprises to the seasoned horror reader, I think. However, the execution of the big reveal and the big "special effects sequence" is one of the better I've seen in a story of this type.

Does It Support the Clown-Quality Hypothesis? The weak version, yes (I'm not a huge fan of the story--Bjornson's other one in this book is much better). Not much clown action and I also don't love it. I don't know if a clown could improve it though.

Cirque Sinful by Zoë Paige

Synopsis: A reporter with a taste for the macabre investigates the mysterious and sinister Cirque Sinful.

Thoughts: This suffers coming right after "The Marionette's Waltz," because both of these stories deal in the same trade of "curious young female reporter goes to see mysterious evil circus with a dark gothic aesthetic." That said, I think it has its own problems regardless of where it's placed. For all the talk of twisted the Cirque Sinful is--and there is some violent content--the tone is all over the place. At one moment we're watching witches levitate a guy and vampires drink people's blood (scary!), the next we're being rolled around in a human hamster-ball/globe of death hybrid, which is cool, but we're also bored and wondering when we can get home and write the article?

The one element that is consistent, and which I appreciate, is the sort of erotic tinge the story has. You can already start to see it from the name--"Sinful" suggests darkness, yes, but also unholy pleasure. And the strongest scene leans into that, with tattooed snakes slithering off of a man's flesh and into the real world to snare a woman for him. It's well done.

The flip side with this sort of thing is that since both sex and horror are so subjective, combining them may trigger riotous laughter. So while I thrilled to the 'seduction and entrapment by living snake tattoos,' I had a very different reaction to the guy with a rotted jack-o'-lantern head saying "Calm down, Pet. I'm not going to hurt you...too much."

Does It Support the Clown-Quality Hypothesis? Yes. This is another weaker story and it doesn't have any clowns. Not sure if adding clowns would help at all, because I think if you have a clown calling you "Pet" and "Plaything" then we're in Kindle porn territory.

The Curse of Madame Serena by Kerry D. Brackett

Synopsis: The bearded lady Madame Serena enchants some and terrifies others.

Thoughts: Kind of like "Possibilities," there's not much to write about. With "Possibilities," though, there was at least the sense that we were in prose-poem territory, and there is an idea. On paper, there's a lot more here than "Possibilities"--we have a reasonably well-defined milieu and characters.

But that's all. We're told that Serena frightens some, and inspires and delights others, but we never feel any of those things ourselves. This just feels too skeletal as a story (and not in the good spooky way).

Does It Support the Clown-Quality Hypothesis? Yes. As with "Possibilities," this is a vignette where there's little to anchor you. Including clowns.

Queens of the Air by Robb T. White

Synopsis: A rookie reporter on assignment at the circus thinks she's discovered a sinister pattern of murder under the big top.

Thoughts: White pulls us out of our slight losing streak with another top five story. The real stars here are the characters: They both have traits that we like and traits that annoy us. Eager cub reporter and hard-drinking cynical reporter are both stock characters, but they have wrinkles and creases and folds in their personality (like, y'know, real people). The story is solid, too, with an interesting mystery and some nasty gore at the end. I appreciate White's willingness to keep some things unexplained, too.

This slots into that spot right between crime/mystery fiction and horror and I like it.

Does It Support the Clown-Quality Hypothesis? It's weak evidence at best. There are clowns in here, and we talk to them and they do clown stuff. That's good. However, the story isn't about clowns, and the amount of quality writing in the story (especially in characterization) far outstrips the clown content. I hate to say it, but I think this story would still be great without clowns.

Sideshow by Cliff Hansen

Synopsis: A dodgy traveling circus picks up an actual mummy.

Thoughts: Look, there are things you don't yadda. You don't yadda sex. You don't yadda lobster bisque. And you don't yadda a mummy slaughtering an entire small town and turning everyone to dust. That's a problem because the first two thirds of this story are great in a kind of Joe R. Lansdale-esque way. We have a good sense of time and place and character, and the shithead carnival workers are well drawn. Just when we get to the big fun horror part, though, Hansen flips the switch from "show" to "tell."

Does It Support the Clown-Quality Hypothesis? Mixed. This is a solid story for the most part without any clowns, but the single best line hinges upon them: "Crossing the continent via a chartered Northern Pacific train, the traveling circus camped for just three days in any given city. Any longer and the townsfolk would suss the magician's tricks, learn that the bearded lady had been pickpocketing them, and realize that the clown may have been spreading syphilis." Where'd they find that guy? Cirque Sinful?

Why I'm Afraid of Mimes by Tom Folske

Synopsis: Insult mimes at your peril.

Thoughts: The uncanny situation at the core of the vignette is great. There isn't really anything more to that, and there doesn't need to be. I think there are trims that could be made here and there to let the sheer weirdness of the mime-horde do more of the heavy lifting. That might be why this hasn't stuck with me as well as "In Two Minds" or "Clownshoes," even though the core of this story is stronger than either of those.

Does It Support the Clown-Quality Hypothesis? Yes. To be clear, mimes count as clowns. This is similar to "Clownshoes," below, in that it's a vignette that relies on a ton of clowns (and, in fact, on the sheer quantity of clowns). The clowns are what's best about the story.

Fritters by Ricardo D. Rebelo

Synopsis: You can get deep-fried anything at the fair. Anything.

Thoughts: I love the tackiness of carnival food booths and the variety they promise. The little bulb lights, the old-timey fonts, the smells, the ability to get anything on God's good earth fried and thrown on a stick. And I really like the first couple paragraphs of this story, which capture some of that (and made me want carnival food). After that, though, it starts to lose me.

I think I'd like this more with a darker ending. I like endings where the good guys win and the bad guys lose (I prefer Star Wars to The Empire Strikes Back). However, downer endings have something going for them, which is that you can stop right when the monster pounces. You don't need the same falling action and closing explanation that you do with a happier ending. And the falling action and exposition that happens here weakens the story.

Does It Support the Clown-Quality Hypothesis? Yes. No clowns, and a weaker story. And clowns could have improved it. I think you can do a Texas Chain Saw Massacre fake-out where the victim is scared by a clown and runs to the fritter guy for help and then whoopsy-daisy! Hell, have the scary clown be a friendly one who was trying to give her something she dropped, ask the fritter guy where she is and he shrugs. We need more--why not a clown?

In Two Minds by Chris Tattersall

Synopsis: Two circus performers have very different attitudes towards their job.

Thoughts: Quick and clever. There's not a lot here, but there doesn't have to be when it's this satisfying. After all, there's not a lot "there" to cotton candy, but we don't hold that against cotton candy.

Does It Support the Clown-Quality Hypothesis? No. No clowns here, and adding them wouldn't make the story better (there's nothing to add or subtract).

Emmett by James Stevens-Arce

Synopsis: In the far future, Emmett the clown proves that crucifixion can get a laugh.

Thoughts: I'm mostly on board with this. A decadent, burnt-out circus 500 years from now is a neat idea. The idea of proving that you can get a laugh by being crucified certainly perks up the eyebrows. And there is a bunch of symbolism: There is a lot of religious imagery, obviously, with "Angel John" and "Magdalena."  And then there's the speculation in the story on Emmett's race. One wonders whether it's a coincidence that the black clown who is going to be crucified has the same name as Emmett Till, the black teenager who was notoriously lynched in the 1950s. But what, exactly, does it all mean? I think I almost get it, but I don't quite, and that might be my problem. There is a lot of stuff flying around here and strong writing, but I'm left scratching my head instead of gasping or laughing.

Does It Support the Clown-Quality Hypothesis? Almost. Lots of clowns here, and the idea of a clown in the future doing a crucifixion act as the last thing is provocative, like something from Dangerous Visions. Adding more clowns might not help but explaining why this is clowning or whatever could help.

Roll Up! Roll Up! by Kay Northbridge

Synopsis: The working class Hooper family are VIP guests at tonight's circus. Unfortunately for them.

Thoughts: Tragic and cruel the way they can only do across the pond (Americans can do violence, but you have to go to Europe for true cruelty).There's also some social class subtext, but it's not obtrusive (which is how I like my subtext). It's clear where we're going very early, but Northbridge keeps it engaging by 1) throwing in some nasty twists and 2) stretching the descriptions of the victims' torment to excruciating lengths.

Does It Support the Clown-Quality Hypothesis? Yes! There are clowns, and they play an important role. This doesn't have as many clowns as the top two stories, but it has a lot. So we see some strong correlation here.

Clownshoes by Pat Harrigan

Synopsis: The circus has lots of clowns, but not as hilarious as Clownshoes. He's really one of a kind!

Thoughts: Love this. Great set up, great punchline. Some of the stories in this anthology feel underdeveloped relative to their premise, but this feels like it is exactly the amount of development the premise is worth. This isn't a criticism! It is a good story, it's just that there isn't a lot more that needs to be done. It's like how some Onion articles have a gag that needs a whole article to develop, and some are better served as a stand alone headline.

Does It Support the Clown-Quality Hypothesis? Yes!! Lots and lots of clowns, great story. We are going to cruise through peer review.

A Letter Home by Lawrence Miles

Synopsis: A man who ran away to join the circus writes back home.

Thoughts: This is a metaphor, right? About abuse and being held back by toxic patterns of thinking? If so, it sort of works, at least at the level of inverting the "I'm going to run away and join the circus" fantasy of an unhappy child. However, my problem with the letter home conceit is that we're back in telling not showing territory, and a premise like this (a guy can get hit in the nuts and feel no pain), no matter what you're going to do with it, demands, erm, fleshing out.

Does It Support the Clown-Quality Hypothesis? Not sure. I'm not a huge fan of this story, and having an act that involves getting kicked in the nuts while people laugh suggests clowning. On the other hand, if you're able to withstand regular groin-trauma on the national stage, maybe you're better classified as a freak (in which case we can count this as 'not clown' and keep the CQH strong).

Findings on the CQH:

I think there's meaningful evidence to support the Clown-Quality Hypothesis in its weak form (presence or absence of clowns correlated somewhat with my perceived quality of the story), although the strong form (adding clowns to a story may increase quality) is less supported. Perhaps additional research (a Volume II, Chad?) is necessary to refine results. If other researchers are interested in reviewing the data, well, you can pick up Circus of the Dead on lulu in ebook and paperback format.